if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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