You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
