Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
that is very illegal...i love you.
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