I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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