I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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