and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
