The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
