Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
