you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
