Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
