I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
