Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
