Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
