have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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