also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
