she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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