batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
