do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
