apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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