she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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