My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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