Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
