what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
