I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
