If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
