My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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