i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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