YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
