I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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