I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
