I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
