Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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