Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
