If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
