is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
