They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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