I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
