feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
