I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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