you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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