I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
