speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
