She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
