shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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