i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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