Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
