Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
