I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Im part way to drunk.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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