I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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