KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They are going to name an STD after you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
