Got a toothbrush?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
